a little light bulb.....

i couldn't begin to explain why this has hit me and how or if the timing is significant

shawns' worst (and maybe only) sin to date, is pulling on cords and curtains. but he is only 16 months old.

asher, at 3 years and almost 5 months.....has learned and exhibited plenty of sin in his young life......the basics however, little lies, sneaking, disobeying, unwillingness to share, etc.

spencer, at age 19.....well.....enough said. sin exists.

i find myself being present or even being the target of behaviors by my children...and the very first thing i want to do is forgive them. i genuinely want to.... and because it is age appropriate....i teach asher to apologize, and i swoop him up with all the evidence and signs of my forgiveness to him that i could possibly display. he's happy to receive the forgiveness, too. with spencer.......i might be frustrated at the absence of an apology....but i forgive him anyway and then suggest that he could have made it easier if he had just offered even the slighest sign of remourse or repentence. but still......i forgave him.....and it hurt me still.

for whatever reason, today inside the walls of my home....and the love that is in my home...... i received the message from the Lord that he wants to forgive us. He genuinely wants to. he wants us to be sorry......but even more so, he wants to forgive his children. i think i have probably subconsciously pictured God with a take it or leave it attitude..... "if you repent you repent, if you don't, you don't". today i do not see him that way. i picture Him as a father just almost dying to hear my sorrow and even my shame. he is eagerly and anxiously wanting me to show him that i seek his forgiveness because he so desperately wants to forgive me.

if i am anxious, willing, and capable of forgiving my children even when they do not ask........then shouldn't we know that God wants to forgive his children? sure he does. no matter what.