Sunday, August 30, 2009

Round #2

Oh has been a whole week since I posted a blog update. I bet my Aunt Peggy is real upset with me! (Hi Aunt Peg!)

The irony of this week is, that little princess I blogged about last Sunday morphed into another Real Estate Agent this week and she has been trying to make my life a living you know what. I guess I'm her weak little happy child in the corner. But like Shawn, who stood up and jerked himself away from little princess, I haven't exactly been the easy target that this woman thought I would be. I love it when the power I have in me rises up....I have Jesus to thank for that. But makes me sad for people when they reveal their belief in their own superiority. I have had to pray a lot this week (several times a day) to just be filled up and reminded that there is no one superior to God in Heaven....and He's on my side. Thank you Lord for that!

More irony this week.... involves my bible study. I think I might have mentioned that my girls and I are doing another Beth Moore taught bible study on the book of Esther. It rocks. I'm still processing..... but last week there was a topic of "mean girls". It completely and utterly rocks my world that there is finally someone talking about this a good way. Unfortunately, I've dealt with more than my fair share of mean girls. Between little princess and Queen Realtor, God is truly directing me to pray for girls and women with such harsh spirits. That's tough! At least I got to see the little princess get pushed down the slide which was exactly what she deserved not funny at all. I wonder if Queen Realtor is heading to a local playground today. Hmmmm?

Can't wait for Friday when our little family vacation begins. I am so excited about our roadtrip to the beach. You can bet I'll be blogging about that.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Hormonal Happenings

I'll be honest. There is not a lot of "pink" that runs through my blood. When I start to become too deficient in pink, my heart and soul begins to crave it. It is during those times that my toes begin to long for a pedi and my shoulders want to carry soft little straps rather than monumental boulders. There is pink in me, way deep down inside. I can feel it surfacing, presently. There might be some new blusher in my near future. Or a menstral cramp.......i'm just sayin....

But let's just talk about Testosterone for a moment, shall we? Joe and the boys took a "spa day" in my jetted Jacuzzi tub last night. I think they are confused. I'll never look at my bathtub the same way again. And yes....they call it "spa day" when they do this thing....and yes they do it from time to time. Granted.....they do not light candles but they have been known to run me clear out of bubbles. I kid you not. How they can go from "spa day" to demolishing toy construction projects, and watching episodes of Batman on the internet, all in a matter of moments, is beyond me. But it happens. I am currently taking recommendations for any efficient over-the-counter testosterone removal agent that I can use to remedy the overdose of grime in my bathtub. There is simply not enough estrogen in this house.

Speaking of estrogen....(oh c' knew this was coming...)........ I am completely enthralled in my new bible study with my Wednesday girls.... the study of the book of Esther (and Esther herself) by one of my favorite bible teachers, Beth Moore. The subtitle is fittingly.."It's Tough Being a Woman". Wow....that is all I can really say. I just finished the 2nd week of homework and I am already fighting the urge to get ahead. One of the simple points that has been made so far in this study is that Esther was basically adored and favored by everyone...and this included a very large harem of women who respected her instead of being threatened by her (she was the most lovely). What character and humility she must have embodied to even be loved by a bunch of hormonal women.... and you know what I'm talking about. WELL........I took my little boys to a park today and we encoutered just exactly the opposite of this in a little girl and her mommy today. I swear....some peoples kids just drive me nuts...and the truth is, you can tell a lot about a child's parent without ever even meeting that parent. It is SO true.

Inhale. Exhale. Ahhhh.....I'm ready now.
Ok, so this little girl was 5 years old as was evidenced by her clear announcement of the fact. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Soon, she became the teacher of all the children and began declaring that "RECESS IS NOW OVER!"...which is wasn't. She used her stick to exert her fear tactic. All the while, Shawn was over to the edge of the playground (which was fenced in) minding his own business and not even being aware of her presence...(bless his little healed heart). Asher, on the other hand, was watching her like a hawk. Like me, he wasn't sure who declared her princess of the playground, but he was pretty sure he had nothing to do with it. Me....well, I was sitting on the mommy bench, biting my tongue. Pretty soon the little girl decided she would ralley up the kiddos and force them into submission. Who do you think was her weak little target? Oh my sweet Shawnie. Little princess pranced to Shawn's quiet edge of the playground where he was happily enjoying some dirt, and began pointing at him like only a mother knows how....(hint hint).....and declared "NO NO NO NO NO" while Shawn stared at her with utter confusion. No worries.....I didn't even have time to rescue little Shawn from her grips, because Asher was already on his way to save the day....(while I observed in amazement). I hear Asher, "Stop, THAT is MY little brother" which she responded something about how she didn't care. She physically grabbed Shawn by the arm and tried to pull him away with her. First of little Shawn was having nothing to do with snooty princess.....and in a heroic move, he jerked himself away!!!! (CHEERS!!). And Asher grabbed her with both arms in a massive bear hug (angry bear). I vocally intervened and he let go. She grabbed Shawn again and I told her to let go. She then fussed at Asher for his mommy watching. Asher jumped between her and Shawn and told her "I'm gonna put up a fight!". She ran off. Meanwhile, her mommy was on a different mommy bench talking to another mommy, while neither paid any attention to their lovely children. (Insert rapid heart beat here!)

I immediately had a private chat with Asher about how to behave in these situations, and that fighting is wrong....but I gotta confess to you....seeing Asher stand up to a girl an easy foot taller than him, with an obvious overdose of (bad) estrogen, I thought he was brave and I am thrilled to know he is willing to jump in to protect our Shawnie. Shawnie is gonna need it, I have a feeling.

Just before we left, little princess stood at the top of a dirt mound approaching a slide (which drops you off at the bottom in a pile of dirt). In a less honorable move, some other mom's little 6 year old boy, gave her a nice shove. She flew down the slide face first, landed with her face in a pile of dirt, while her little pink dress flew all the way over her head and all the boys laughed at her panties. Ok seriously....I'm trying not to enjoy this. At some point we truly outgrow the God given, 5-year-old right to force our enemies to eat dirt and be exposed in a compromising position.... oh the freedoms of pre-adolescence. Don't ya just miss it?

Being a mom just opens you up to a whole new reality of "defend and protect". Shew...... I'm not sure my homones can take a whole lotta days at the dirt park. Well, not if little princess and her disconnected mommy are going to be there. Lord, HELP ME love them!!!!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Boys - a simple and sappy update

I realize I haven't done a real straight-forward update on my sweet kiddos in a while. So...get prepared for no poetry, no spiritual insight, and no deep confessions....this is purely a simple and sappy update on my boys.

Spencer has been around a little more lately....loving on his little brothers and sharing with me some of the not so wonderful experiences he is having in his 20 year young life. The beauty in this for me is that he shares at all. The bottom line is there are things to work through and lessons to be learned, and potentially some damage control....but you know what....I LOVE my boy and I'm not afraid to say the hard things, and then love him more than ever. I cannot believe I had him when I was 18 and he is now 20. Quick mathmatical equation....yes, I'm 38. 3 months Asher will be 5 years old. WOW! We had plans and hopes and prayers for Asher to be accepted into our local puplic pre-K. He did get accepted...but for the life of me, that didn't excite me at all. I felt conflicted but couldn't really figure out why. Public pre-K is not much different than Kindergarten in that attendance is required everyday...there are not flexibilities in dropping off early or picking up late....etc. Asher would have been committed to going to school every M-F from 8:30 - 2:30. I just couldn't rest with that. Joe works weekends and gets 2 weekdays off, and we have enjoyed having the right to have the boys home on one of Joe's day off for "Daddy day". We were not ready to forfeit that. I believe that God works in very creative ways.....I took the boys swimming one afternoon and ran into an old co-worker/friend of mine....and long story short....she mentioned a 3-day accredited Christian Pre-K that she sends her kids to. They happened to have a slot open for a 4 year old... we visited and did the whole bit. I have another friend who sends her daughter there.....and well, we signed on. Asher will go M,W,F from September to May....and not sacrifice Daddy day. Also, there is a 1/2 day option which costs less and works perfectly with Shawn's schedule....and so there you have it. of the best parts is that I know one of Asher's assistant teachers and I just feel like we have landed absolutely in the perfect place, compliments of God. I LOVE how HE works things out for good.

In sappier news, I am in love with Asher Tate. Lately we've been having some special mommy/Asher time whenever we can...and we have so much fun. He always tells me at the end of our activity...."mommy, you know what my favorite part was?" (what honey?) "YOU".... ok, melt my heart! I love being his favorite part. I relish it and savor it and oh my word I could eat him up!

Shawn has moved up to a new classroom at his school and the transitiong seems to be going just fine. (Yes, we keep him home for Daddy day). Shawn is learning how to maneuver our stairs at home. He could already crawl up and creep down...but now he is walking up by holding one hand on the railings and doing the same to come down, although down is slower. I am AMAZED by this, and I choke up regularly. The most fantastic thing happening with him lately is he simply tries to say everything. I still feel that his speech is a long way from being clear, and he does receive speech therapy weekly....but some things are falling into place. He can finally say "momma" and "nana".....words we have been encouraging for a LONG time. He can say Elmo but is sounds like "melmo" without an "l". He loves Bert and Ernie and he can say "ernie" but it sounds like "eye-nie".....but HECK....the boy is putting 2 syllables together and it is making sense. He can say "Barney" too. He simply tries to repeat everything and it is comical....but such sweet jumbled noise. Sure, the milestones are slower to come but the celebrations are bigger and lovlier and I just couldn't be more proud of him and in love with him.

Shawn has a greatly increased behavior lately also.....normally when his sippy cup is empty, he likes to throw it on the floor in a fit of disappointment and throw a little (10 second) tantrum...possibly involving throwing himself on the floor as well. In this past week....when Shawn's cup is empty....he walks over to me, grabs my hand to open it up, and simply places the cup in my hand, and gives me a precious look like, "mommy don't you want to replenish this for me?"..... This, of course, is a blessed transformation..... I had nothing to do with it.

Shawn transitioned into the big boy bed without incident. I usually snuggle with him in his bed for a few minutes, most nights...and it is precious. He sucks his thumb and strokes my hair. We giggle and talk about farm animals with some moo's and some neigh's thrown in for fun. He tells me "nigh nigh" and I disappear. It is too stinkin sweet!

So there...for those of you who share a little blood and/or love with my you have the the 411.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Here Am I

It is a melody that sends chills across my body...and to hear it sung in a large group for me is so powerful and moving. I wonder, how can anyone hear this words or sing along to them, and not be moved? They'd have to be numb. Numb is sad. This song heightens the hope in me that I can be used by God to serve out His big or small ways.

I'm a sing-around-the-house kinda girl. Always have been. My perfermances used to involve a wooden spoon for a microphone...yes, I was that girl. Now my performances are geared to my God with my hands raised in the air to Him. I think if I stretch out real far in reaching for Him, He'll pour a little more of His spirit to me, or He'll reach down and grab my hand, kiss it, and just remind me He is always there with me. Emmanuel = "God with us".

Sometimes I sing this song and just end up weeping. Good a safe surrender into the hands of the one who wants to carry me. But I know that I am in this world and on the earth....not quite in Heaven yet. I'm not just supposed to float. I'm supposed to dive in and love on people who don't feel loved, and offer up His hope like a life vest for the ultimate rescue.

I love this song. I'd love if you would listen to it and soak it in. I believe you'll want to give Jesus all of your life, all for Him....and that you'll cherish every last moment.

Enjoy..... click HERE

Saturday, August 15, 2009

If I Had a Dime for Every Rhyme

....I'd have a little deposit in my piggy bank today.

(disclaimer....i'm not a poet)....but this is dedicated to all the women at the retreat this past weekend!

SWEET ESTROGEN (or whatever)

women of mont on the hill, I digest you like a little pill and receive you in my heart

because the more i see of you in me, the women we are meant to be are not so far apart

i hurt that in this world of sin, the babylon we're living in, our suffering exists

cuz some men are HOT, but some men are not, just more like painful cysts

i cherish every piece of you that broke and fell despaired

for every painful truth you told, when tears and snot were shared

in a room that ached to comfort you and lift you to His sky

from circled chairs to streets of gold, held in the arms of Christ

then the rooms were filled with howls and love and sweet umbrella chat

(those belly jingles too)

i take away the scoop on poop, and herbs for this or that

but mostly that my heart was blessed to meet each one of you

so don't forget that God made you and YA'LL's a royal noun

just like you are, you are a queen, preparing for your crown

may love walk with you every day and night and in your sleep

until we meet again for chocolate and estrogen retreat

Saturday, August 8, 2009

So Busy

I'm absent because I'm so dang busy. And I'm under a lot of stress because some of my clients are just very simply under stressful time demands and we must find them a fabulous, yesterday.

Everyone wants to buy a house all of a sudden. It's a blessing, but just very demanding. I love it. And, I miss my kids.

I'll be back.

Meanwhile, I know that Jesus is in the feast as well as He is in the famine. It's all for Him, and I KNOW that....thankfully.

Lastly.....I have raised enough money for my airfare to Zimbabwe 11/6 - 11/21 and am so deeply grateful and blessed. Can't wait to actually have time to schedule my flights.....hopefully this week. Still need to raise more.... and I am believing! sweet family is going on our first ever vacation, in September, to a beach about a 9 hour drive. This is a great blessing to us that will not cost us much $ and I am so looking forward to the smiles on my kids faces as they run in the sand for the first time ever. This is made possible by a generous friend with a very sweet heart, who is sharing their family rental. We couldn't be more thankful and more overjoyed by the opportunity.

Happy Weekend!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Something's Cookin'

....but dinner ain't been served.

If my real estate career were a pot of stew, let's see....

It would be a big'ole black iron pot sitting over an open flame, filled to the brim with the finest cuts of meat and the freshest ingredients... a dash of this, a pinch of that, and an aroma so sweet you can almost taste it.

Two problems...

1. dang ladle broke off and fell into the bottom of the hot iron pot

2. there's a pack of wolves casing the perimeter....just waiting for it all to cool off


Saturday, August 1, 2009


I have never really understood racial prejudice. And here, I have grown up in the south. I know that our nation has advanced by incredible strides, as is evidenced by a black man holding the most powerful office...but I know we have so far to go.

I remember as a very young girl, feeling that there was supposed to be a difference in my mind between black people and white people, but my heart couldn't come to terms with that. And as I grew older, into middle school, my heart became even more conflicted. I ran track and participated in other activities at school where all the races just came together as one big cohesive mesh. So why couldn't we always just be a sticky group of people, rather than classified by our colorful or colorless skin?

In 8th grade, a beautiful friendship between myself and one of our schools most beloved boys, became amazing friends. He was black. People started to talk. During my freshman year of high school, my boyfriend was black. During my sophomore year of highschool, my boyfriend was bi-racial (black, white, and Filipino). I was the class "nigger-lover" and people made sure I knew how they felt. Ironically, a lot of the white kids...blacklisted me.

I was so surprised when I went to Zimbabwe last year, that there was very much a sense of class distinction between the black and the white Africans. I would see in a few situations where the black people would be more reserved around white people, in the expectation that the white people were going to act supreme. Once a determination could be made about the entitlement position (or lack of) of the white person, only then, would a black person seem more relaxed. I didn't want anyone to look at me and wonder if I was mean or abusive, so I just always had a smile on my face. It made the biggest difference. There is just no reason on this earth that we should have any belief that one person is less than another person. (child rapists excluded - i'm just sayin). But even in God's eyes, that person can be forgiven.

Some of the scariest people I have ever seen have been white men. Think about it. I watch the news and it seems that the majority of child predators are white men. White men go to prison too. White men steal cars, rape women, shoot people, and cheat on their wives. A man's true self is his spirit and his heart.....and has no bearing on the color of his skin.

We are called to love people, not rank them according to color.

Jesus was neither black, nor white. And although he was King of Kings, he didn't wear jewels and crowns, designer clothes, or live in a mansion on a hill. He was a jewish carpenter of humble means. He taught about character of heart. He taught love. He taught servanthood. He taught equality. And he taught..... do unto others.......... not racial discrimination.