Sunday, August 23, 2009

Hormonal Happenings

I'll be honest. There is not a lot of "pink" that runs through my blood. When I start to become too deficient in pink, my heart and soul begins to crave it. It is during those times that my toes begin to long for a pedi and my shoulders want to carry soft little straps rather than monumental boulders. There is pink in me, way deep down inside. I can feel it surfacing, presently. There might be some new blusher in my near future. Or a menstral cramp.......i'm just sayin....

But let's just talk about Testosterone for a moment, shall we? Joe and the boys took a "spa day" in my jetted Jacuzzi tub last night. I think they are confused. I'll never look at my bathtub the same way again. And yes....they call it "spa day" when they do this thing....and yes they do it from time to time. Granted.....they do not light candles but they have been known to run me clear out of bubbles. I kid you not. How they can go from "spa day" to demolishing toy construction projects, and watching episodes of Batman on the internet, all in a matter of moments, is beyond me. But it happens. I am currently taking recommendations for any efficient over-the-counter testosterone removal agent that I can use to remedy the overdose of grime in my bathtub. There is simply not enough estrogen in this house.

Speaking of estrogen....(oh c' knew this was coming...)........ I am completely enthralled in my new bible study with my Wednesday girls.... the study of the book of Esther (and Esther herself) by one of my favorite bible teachers, Beth Moore. The subtitle is fittingly.."It's Tough Being a Woman". Wow....that is all I can really say. I just finished the 2nd week of homework and I am already fighting the urge to get ahead. One of the simple points that has been made so far in this study is that Esther was basically adored and favored by everyone...and this included a very large harem of women who respected her instead of being threatened by her (she was the most lovely). What character and humility she must have embodied to even be loved by a bunch of hormonal women.... and you know what I'm talking about. WELL........I took my little boys to a park today and we encoutered just exactly the opposite of this in a little girl and her mommy today. I swear....some peoples kids just drive me nuts...and the truth is, you can tell a lot about a child's parent without ever even meeting that parent. It is SO true.

Inhale. Exhale. Ahhhh.....I'm ready now.
Ok, so this little girl was 5 years old as was evidenced by her clear announcement of the fact. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Soon, she became the teacher of all the children and began declaring that "RECESS IS NOW OVER!"...which is wasn't. She used her stick to exert her fear tactic. All the while, Shawn was over to the edge of the playground (which was fenced in) minding his own business and not even being aware of her presence...(bless his little healed heart). Asher, on the other hand, was watching her like a hawk. Like me, he wasn't sure who declared her princess of the playground, but he was pretty sure he had nothing to do with it. Me....well, I was sitting on the mommy bench, biting my tongue. Pretty soon the little girl decided she would ralley up the kiddos and force them into submission. Who do you think was her weak little target? Oh my sweet Shawnie. Little princess pranced to Shawn's quiet edge of the playground where he was happily enjoying some dirt, and began pointing at him like only a mother knows how....(hint hint).....and declared "NO NO NO NO NO" while Shawn stared at her with utter confusion. No worries.....I didn't even have time to rescue little Shawn from her grips, because Asher was already on his way to save the day....(while I observed in amazement). I hear Asher, "Stop, THAT is MY little brother" which she responded something about how she didn't care. She physically grabbed Shawn by the arm and tried to pull him away with her. First of little Shawn was having nothing to do with snooty princess.....and in a heroic move, he jerked himself away!!!! (CHEERS!!). And Asher grabbed her with both arms in a massive bear hug (angry bear). I vocally intervened and he let go. She grabbed Shawn again and I told her to let go. She then fussed at Asher for his mommy watching. Asher jumped between her and Shawn and told her "I'm gonna put up a fight!". She ran off. Meanwhile, her mommy was on a different mommy bench talking to another mommy, while neither paid any attention to their lovely children. (Insert rapid heart beat here!)

I immediately had a private chat with Asher about how to behave in these situations, and that fighting is wrong....but I gotta confess to you....seeing Asher stand up to a girl an easy foot taller than him, with an obvious overdose of (bad) estrogen, I thought he was brave and I am thrilled to know he is willing to jump in to protect our Shawnie. Shawnie is gonna need it, I have a feeling.

Just before we left, little princess stood at the top of a dirt mound approaching a slide (which drops you off at the bottom in a pile of dirt). In a less honorable move, some other mom's little 6 year old boy, gave her a nice shove. She flew down the slide face first, landed with her face in a pile of dirt, while her little pink dress flew all the way over her head and all the boys laughed at her panties. Ok seriously....I'm trying not to enjoy this. At some point we truly outgrow the God given, 5-year-old right to force our enemies to eat dirt and be exposed in a compromising position.... oh the freedoms of pre-adolescence. Don't ya just miss it?

Being a mom just opens you up to a whole new reality of "defend and protect". Shew...... I'm not sure my homones can take a whole lotta days at the dirt park. Well, not if little princess and her disconnected mommy are going to be there. Lord, HELP ME love them!!!!


Sharon said...

Okay, even though at my chronological age I should know better, sometimes my emotional age is still so first grade & that's the age that responded to little miss playground princess...
don't we all wish lifes little issues could be handled in playground fashion?!
Seriously though, the pics of the boys are way too cute, I LOVE the one of Shawn looking over the edge of a table or something, that is a blue-ribbon photo winner!

Sarah said...

I love it that Asher took up for Shawn! I wonder if my Ethan would do that for Allyson.

So excited to hear you are loving the Esther study. Look forward to hearing more of your thoughts.