Sunday, May 31, 2009

Tater Tots and Other Yummies

Tater Tot (aka) Asher Tate

I love this boy. Of course, he is my son, but as he has hit the 4 1/2 mark, I can recognize that he has some incredibly specific personality traits. Of course he is cute and funny. But he is so much more.

Even at the age of 4 1/2, I can see that Asher is:


When Shawn gets hurt, Asher's face cringes up like mine does and his first instinct is to take care of his brother. He immedaitely offers comfort and kisses. Yes, he might have picked this up from me initially.... but this characteristic is now all his own. I've seen Asher comfort his classmates. It touches me to near tears, every time.

Hard Working

Asher loves to help. He helps Joe cook dinner almost every night that Joe cooks. And since his daddy is a chef, Asher is being taught some things that are unique. When Nana tells Asher she needs him in her yard picking up sticks, leaves, etc.... Asher is raring to go. He doesn't give up....he just keeps going. Recently, Asher passed up an opportunity to go to a neighborhood carnival with my Aunt Judy, because he preferred to help her mulch her garden. And best of all, sometimes Asher sneaks up to the bonus room and puts away every last toy and then he comes to tell me that he cleaned it up for me. He loves praise, and I give him tons. I do believe praise inspires good work. Not money, not awards..... just good ole sincere praise.


Lately, Asher has been on this kick of telling me the reasons he loves me so much, and telling me that he appreciates me and daddy. He'll say, "mommy, the things i love so much about you are that you keep my clothes clean and you make our house pretty". He doesn't make big mention that I only do this twice a month.... instead, he acts like I do it everyday, and he appreciates it. He tells me he loves his teacher, Miss Ashley because she teaches him things. And he loves Daddy because Daddy lets him cook. Nowhere does he mention frivolous things. Instead, he is pointing out that he appreciates the things that we do that add value to him, and that equip him to be valuable. He might not be thinking about it that way... but that's the truth.


This last trait is a hard one. Passion can be perceived as a good or a bad thing. I've been accused of being passionate my whole life. Sometimes, that word was not delivered with love. And I'll own up to's true. I have learned to control the heated passion that wants to fight for what's right, in the moment, without being constructive. But, I am still passionate. Asher has similar tendencies. Of course, the good, excited, sweet, precious, tender side of being passionate about something is good. But.... Asher got to go swimming with our wonderful neighbor yesterday. Asher absolutely loves Grayson, who is also 4 1/2. When Asher was brought back home (I was working)... Asher through a temper tantrum. Although he didn't articulate it, I know that his little heart was breaking. He didn't want a good thing to end. He was described to me as being a "terror" by my mom who received him. Truly, he was just being terrorized by his incredibly strong desire to not have his time with Grayson be over. I do not condone temper tantrums, but I understood where this one came from. He got my passion.

If I could, I'd throw a temper tantrum right now over starving children and orphans in the world. I'd throw a temper tantrum over friends who have betrayed me. I'd throw a temper tantrum over my absent/bitter father. I'd throw a temper tantrum over the economy and how it has stifled our finances. I'd throw a temper tantrum over hypocrisy in the church. I'd throw a tantrum and knock the teeth out of a professor at Belmont who did something unethical to my oldest son. I have the passion inside of me to light cities on fire and free the captives. I have the passion in me to write a letter to the president for making an off color comment about the Special Olympics. I have the passion in me to cut off relationships that don't have balance.

Asher may have gotten this from me. My prayer is that we can help him learn to filter his feelings in such a way that he can be constructive, instead of destructive. But I am thrilled that he is passionate. The benefits of having a burning heart far outweigh the pain.

I love to look Asher in the eyes, cup his precious face, and tell him, "Asher, you are such a wonderful boy". I believe this phrase is transforming him into a special boy with an incredible heart.

I am so thankful for the children God has given me.


Sarah said...

What a precious, precious boy. I'm glad God has trusted him to your care.

I've never thought about passion quite the way you described. I, too, am very passionate, and I tend to focus on the negative side of it. It really is a gift.

Tracy said...

what a precious gift asher is! love your sweet tribute to him and how he's been shaped by Jesus, his mommy and his daddy! :))