My oldest son (19) and I had a painful parting of ways a couple of weeks ago. We didn't agree. We argued. We hurt each others feelings. I have never asked him to go and stay with his Dad, but I did on that day. 2-3 weeks later, I haven't seen him. It has been so hard. So hard. So hard. So hard. That is my baby and I miss him so much it hurts.
Day 1 sucked. It sucked hard.
Day 2 was hell and I puked.
By about day 4 we were having decent chats on the phone and simple texts void of anger. By week 2, he was back to telling me he loves me and misses me (oh me too me too). By the beginning of week 3, he had his first ever fender bender, and he called me. HE called ME! And by today....he sends me a text message that I didn't initiate. Right now, I feel like I have my son back, even though I haven't seen him. (Praise you Lord)
His first year of college didn't go quite the way he assumed it would. Next year is not going to go the way he thought it would (we already know). There has been change. There has been failure (the kind that grows character). There have been disappointments. There has been the diagnosis of a sleep disorder and struggle associated with trying to correct it. There has been depression. There has been pain. Now there is distance. I miss him. I just love him and want him near me.
Spencer is going back to Belmont this next semester. He will either live at home with me or at his Dad's house (oh pick me pick me).... but either way, he will be well. We will survive. I may never get the apology I was hoping for......but I've put on my big girl britches and I'm going to love him through the tough times. He's my first precious sweetheart, and he is a good kid. He is coming over on Sunday to babysit his brothers and I cannot wait to see him. He is amazing and beautiful and funny and dear. He is joy to me, even amidst the gunk. My sweet.
In this pic, Asher is hugging Spencer and Dana. Spencer is a sweet big brother.
Spencer doesn't like this pic, but I love it. He's feeling a little cornered by the camera...but a momma's gotta do what a momma's gotta do....