Luke 21

I have been working all day. The heat is on....pressure is high.....negotiations get emotional (for my clients) and I have to help them through it all, and have it make sense.

Here it is 9:39pm and after a day of tough work, that started at 8:30am, I just grabbed my Bible (NIV) and opened it to a random spot. I normally don't do that. But tonight, I just needed to be directed to what God would have me know. I landed on Luke chapter 21. I tried to only read a few verses, and have that be enough, but God led me through the chapter. I'll not even try to tackle all my thoughts in one brief blog.....but thought I would start...and maybe continue for a few days.

Verses 1-4 are titled "The Widow's Offering" in the NIV. It says "As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. "I tell you the truth" he said, "this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on."

Have you ever known someone who gave regular tithes to the church, when you knew with certainty they struggled with putting gas in the car or paying for doctor bills? I know that at times, I have been that person. I'm not that person right now.....i want to be. Well, I don't want to be struggling...but I want to give more than I have....if that makes sense. Giving, for God's work, is an act of obedience, I do believe. I know that as a family, with giving, we used to be obedient and generous. I believe when my youngest son was born, I justified a reduction in giving largely because I was afraid. Planning for the future of a mentally disabled child just seemed to warrant such redirection of funds. Who would care for Shawn when we are gone, if not us? It is still something I struggle with! I think I really beefed up the giving of services, in exchange for the lesser giving of funds. And in all honesty....it still doesn't feel right.

This was not the "feel good" scriptures my heart was seeking....but certainly the message I needed to hear tonight. God has been so faithful to me in my career. I occasionally experience bizarre disappointments from time to time (as is to be expected with any endeavor) but He is faithful. I need to trust the Lord more with my finances and my giving. That's just the bottom line. My children are in His hands. My children are His children and He will show me how to earn, how and when to give, and how to prepare for Shawn's special needs. AND, how to enjoy some of lifes' pleasures. He will.

I want to have the heart of that poor Widow. I want to give away my final two copper coins and have it glorify my heavenly Father. I want to fall asleep knowing that He will provide my needs in accordance with His will. That is a peaceful promise......if I could receive it peacefully.