I'm no expert on this subject. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior almost 9 years ago. Yes, I had an "aha" moment, a moment of awakening, and I was changed in an instant....and it started with a prayer. A very sloppy, sobby, amateur'ish, kindergarten style prayer. but He heard me...
I also went through a period of time, after dedicating my life to Christ, where I felt like.....why pray? God has a plan and He is going to reveal it.......I felt like my words were wasted, manipulated, contrived, fake, and well, useless. I think all believers go through this. For me, it lasted about a year, maybe a little longer. I finally got to a point where I could talk to God, but instead of praying for people to be healed and blessings to be granted, I just became very thankful....and I began to thank God everyday, for everything I could think of.....from blooming flowers to precious friends. That level of gratitude grew into even finding a place in my heart where I could be thankful for the crap.......(yes, i said crap)... crap like.....mean co-workers, persecution, financial struggles, weakness, hopelessness, and all the countless horrible experiences I lived in my past....every last one of them. The more I prayed my prayers of gratitude, the more God revealed to me through His love....His plan. What He showed me was that if I had not been through some of those devastating experiences.....if I had not been shattered.....if I had not hurt others.....then I would not have grown. I would not have become grateful. I would not have learned to appreciate the love that I do receive and the love that I can give back. If I hadn't been flawed, I couldn't enjoy some refinement.
Now my prayer life is quite fresh and new....I still pray many prayers of gratitude (believe me i have much to be thankful for). Over the past several months, the Lord has brought me to my knees. He finds quiet places in my house and he draws me to that spot. It's like he calls for me and I come, and I pour my heart out to him. He wants to hear everything....even the things I might even be afraid to pray about.
In 2 Samuel, chapter 7, verses 18 - 29, David prays to God. This prayer amazes me. David is in awe of God. David reminds God that David knows David is a servant of God. David acknowledges that God has made him promises, and David assures God that he believes in those promises. You know.....it's poetic and sweet (it's David after all...) but you can just feel David's heart in this prayer. It makes my own heart pound.....but here is the part that amazes me....and it stays with me. David says to God, of himself.... "so your servant has found courage to offer you this prayer. O Sovereign Lord, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant."
David proves to us, in scripture, that sometimes it takes courage to pray....even to pray for the things that we know God wants for us.
I could keep going.....but this is too long, and I need another cup of coffee.....have a blessed day sweet blog friends.
Confessions of a Chia Bomber
2 months ago
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing that, especially the idea of sometimes needing courage to pray. My husband and I are very much living Plan B right now (job-related) and honestly, I'm often at a loss to even know what to pray about our situation. But you're right - I think we can always start with being thankful and God will begin working through that.
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