But something is bothering me.
For those of you who follow along with my blog here and on facebook, or to those I sent emails to regarding this issue....there is something you need to know.
Fatima doesn't ask me for anything.
I have positioned myself to be taken advantage of her if she wants to take advantage of me. But she hasn't. And I believe I will have the wisdom and discernment to detect if she were ever to try. But that is not what is happening here.
Of all of the orphanages I have visited in Zim over the past 2 years, it is evident that hers are run in such a way that the best interests of the children are being served. Her orphanages are about the children. There is a distinct different between Fatima's orphanges and the others I have visited. Distinct. Of all of the orphans I have met in Zim, hers are the most likely to survive physically, mentally and spiritually. Her accounting is accurate and her books are wide open. More than anything, her heart is for Jesus. She is saving these children for His glory. Not her own.
So, I have partnered with Fatima, unofficially. I have a feeling that if I started 4 orphanges here for 70ish kids, I would need help too. That's all. She needs help.
As for these kids not having their school fees.... yes, I'd prefer more notice to know how I could help, but that isn't going to always happen. One of the boys in her teen home, Keldon, sings on the praise and worship team at church and I noticed he needs some ties. I contacted Fatima to ask her what colors he needs because I am sending a package next week. She replied to me and let me know to be praying for school fees for the other kids because a donation had fallen through.
I prayed. I'm still praying. And I figured, I could at least try to do more than pray.
Will I lose sleep if the kids don't get to go back to school?
Do I feel solely responsible for raising enough money to send them all?
But I do have a dream. One I am trying to find the courage and the money to put into action. I so deeply want to start a non-profit that will help in these situations and whatever critical situations come along. And I want it to grow and be huge. I want big donors. I want small donors. I want to provide a source for the orphans as well as provide an opportunity for the community of Christ to come together and do something meaningful for tender lives.
So, for now I'm doing the best with what I have. I hope you all will continue to walk this journey with me, without worrying about the process too much.
I cannot do this alone. Jesus is the giver of all good things. He is the provider.
He is nudging me.
That's all I know.