A Cold-Turkey Conviction

This post is geared to be an explanation for my facebook friends...but if you are a regular reader of my blog, please continue reading. It's life stuff.

This past week my bible study group and I got back together to begin a new study. It will not come as a surprise to many of you that we are diving into yet another Beth Moore study. We love her....I mean really really deeply love her. Beth is a phenomenal teacher. She just is. Point blank. Bottom line. This study that we are doing as of now is called "Believing God". We were supposed to do the study on John, however a couple of things interfered with that and so we abruptly changed direction....and as that pivot took place, we knew that it was God. You know, sometimes He just makes changing directions easy. By force.

We met last Wednesday for our first meeting where we watched the first DVD lesson. This study is 9 weeks, 10 lessons that are to drive and encourage us not just to believe IN God, but to actually BELIEVE HIM. To know and believe His promises. To TRUST Him. And I can tell you this....this is exactly what I need to be studying right now. God is Sovereign. This isn't just a coincidence.

Today I sat in my favorite chair with all of my study materials and I was reading, studying, and doing my homework, I was overwhelmed with the sense that God was calling me to a myriad of fasts during this study. Why? Because I need to believe Him more than ever right now.....and I have distractions. He cannot do all that He has prepared to accomplish through me if I am distracted. And certainly not if I am lacking spiritual health.

I am sharing this with you for one reason only....my ongoing desire to be authentic in the hopes that even one of my readers can benefit from my experience being shared.

I will fast from facebook for at least 9 weeks. The earliest I will allow myself to return to facebook is Wednesday April 7. I have already logged off of my mobile application. I have changed every setting on my facebook account to make some things not accessible at all. I will no longer feed my blog to facebook. And I will not receive any notifications of any kind...and that includes if you email me through facebook. I will not know. I have turned it all off. I did not deactivate my account because I want you to be able to post if you want to....but I won't know about it until April 7.

Why?

Because the only status update I need to be curious about for the next 9-10 weeks is that of my husband. I need to know what he is up to. What he is thinking about. I need to be more concerned about what is going on in his life and his heart above anyone else. I have done very poorly at this. He has not asked this of me. I'm doing it out of the conviction I received from my Heavenly Father today. I mentioned on my blog recently that Joe and I are in marriage counseling. I want it to work. Distractions will not help us. The other conviction for my time-out would be that I need more time-in with God. He spoke that pretty clearly to me this morning.

Another major issue I am dealing with internally is a lack of motivation and a lack of trust in God regarding some fairly significant things that I want to accomplish, for Him. I need to raise a lot of money for a friend in Zimbabwe. I am dreading this and I am doubting that I can accomplish this mission and purpose that He has designed for me to do, for His glory. I must focus. No distractions. There is also a side business I want to start....and I get frozen with stress and doubt. He is calling me to more time on my knees with Him. He will bring me to the place of motivation, joy, excitement, determination and ability. It's all about Him.

I should clarify here that I do not necessarily spend an unhealthy amount of time on facebook. The unhealthiness is in my heart moreso. And I want to further state that convictions are specific to individual people..... facebook may not be interfering with your heart. So I am not trying to set a precedent. You must deal with your convictions when God speaks them to you. I am not making a statement about facebook, in any way.

I am also working toward giving up unhealthy meats. If I cannot afford to do the organic deal, I'll not eat meat at all. Aside from finishing off the meat that I have in my freezer...(not much), it's over. I don't believe God is calling me to this for any other reason that to have me starve for Him more. Literally, crave Him. It isn't about animal rights. It is about being kind to my body and being hungry for God.

I have recently had more sodas than what is normal for me....and funny how just a few can send you into a nasty downward spiral. I have to quit. Even though it is just one a day....I have to give it up. My body is my temple. Jesus resides in the temple. Impurities mess up my body. Soda is not good for me. Again....my conviction....it doesn't have to be yours.

Over the next 9 weeks, one very positive change that I want to experience in my life is a desire and an ability to memorize scripture. I want the word of God to be so close to my tongue that I am never at a loss for it. And my other primary prayer and goal is that Joe and I will complete all of the homework that we are given by our counselor, that we will be restored individually and together, all for the glory of God. I am already seeing God work miracles. And I want more of that.

SO.......to all of my facebook friends, especially the ones who have regular contact with me.....I know that friendship is a two way street....and man I am really going to miss you. Some of you have impacted me greatly and I will certainly feel a loss while I am adjusting. I invite you to email me directly or keep in touch with me through this blog...or BOTH. My direct email is melissa@melissairwin.com Please use it frequently. Or meet me here at my blog and leave comments, etc. If you have a blog that I need to be aware of, please let me know. I want to know and to remain connected to my friends and kindred spirits. It will just require extra effort.

You'll always know what's up with me, because you can find me here. Please, come visit.

Here are 2 verses I am studying this week, in an effort to have the faith that God wants me to have. Full faith, without doubt.

Hebrews 11:6 - Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Ephesians 3:12 - In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Do you have any questions or advice for me? Leave a comment.