Sunday, November 30, 2008

Hugeness

Mission trip aside, December is a massive month in my household. December holds blessings and treasures that fulfill my life in the most meaningful ways. December is the month that I pinch myself, the month I sing, and the month I praise the most.

First and foremost, December is the month that I get to physically celebrate the birth of Jesus, who I consider Savior. I love Easter equally, but the birth is so precious. I love that giving meaningful and thoughtful gifts to each other is like saying happy birthday to Jesus. Not commercial consumerism......just giving from the heart. And being a joyful giver. With the right mindset and the proper intentions, it is such a nice holiday.

Those who know me know that Spencer is my heart and my joy. He is almost 20. Even though I had him at a young age and the pregnancy was not planned, I very much wanted him. I longed for my own child from a very young age. I loved the little babies in my neighborhood and wished they were mine. I have plenty of witnesses to back me up. Spencer might have been a surprise, but he was never a mistake and I am truly grateful for him. He was born in April.

(back to December)....... both Asher and Shawn have birthdays in December. They are so incredibly special because when Joe and I married, we didn't intend to have more children. Spencer was everything and more. But our hearts and desires changed. When we decided to have children, I prayed. I really prayed. I believe that I had a miscarriage, although I've never had it medically confirmed. I learned that I had problems with my uterus that required surgery, or I would not be able to carry a child. I had that surgery in Feb 04 and conceived Asher in March 04. He was born, 12/4/04. The joy of becoming pregnant and delivering a vibrant and beautiful child is greater than anything I have ever experienced. We did it. We really did it. When Joe and I talked about having children, I told him I'd really like to have 2 that could grow together, and he agreed. I know, and it breaks my heart so deeply, that some couples try and try and try, and do not get pregnant. I know the grief and heartache that some people suffer. I certainly do not deserve the blessings God gives me.....and He gave us Shawn, two years later, on 12/31/06. December is the month I pinch myself. Thank you God.

Happy December.

Merry Christmas

Happy Birthday to my 2 precious baby boys who came to me in December. May God bless your precious hearts and bring you joy each day of your lives.

2 comments:

Melissa said...

so sweet...my baby girl is a Dec 10th girl, and it has made Dec that much sweeter.

I loved what you wrote about your Spencer---what a blessing to have him for 20 years!!

I am thinking of you as you prepare to leave in a few days! I will be praying for you and your boys while you're gone!

Love to you!

Tam said...

you are probably one of the most nurturing mamas i have ever known. i love reading your words about yoru family. i literally can feel the love you have from them when i read your posts.

they are blessed. very blessed.

when is your oldest sons b-day? my girls is 4/18.