Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Mask #2 and Mask #3

Might as well double up...I think it might be a long week of posting, and dreading the posts. Just trying to be real here......want to be authentic.

Mask #2
Church volunteer:
I serve at church, so I must have a servant spirit....
Ouch...do i really have to go here? The truth is I love to serve when it is convenient for me, when I am gifted in the area I serve in, or (faint whisper in hopes you don't hear this part....)...when it makes me look good. Holy crap I can't believe I just said that!!!
I love to serve. I can even do it anonymously from time to time. I can and sometimes do give sacrificially and feel so close to God when I do (especially anonymously and especially sacrificially). But serving has also served me from time to time, whether at church, for the church, or even outside of church. Sometimes I put on the servant front.....and man that is so not good. If I took that mask off, you'd see sometimes I whine about serving, gripe about how many times Joe gets asked to do meals........urgh.....I can be really nasty (sometimes....not all the time....so don't start hating me!)

Mask #3
Self Confidence
Peel away this mask and you will learn more about me than I ever want you to know. I am confident in my abilities, which is probably why I thrive in the type of career that I have.....but bring it all down to a personal level, and I'm a mess. Relationally, I'm not sure I'll ever see myself as someone who measures up.

There you go....2 more masks peeled away. I'm just looking more and more like a winner everyday. Yep, I'm a winner alright. I've won the heart of Jesus, and thankfully, He is willing to dwell in my heart and be me. And me be Him. That is so cool. He refines me and gets my heart in line with the servant I should be and the servant I most often want to be. And He gives me God confidence when I am low...and there is no better confidence.

Blessings,
Melissa

5 comments:

brandiandboys said...

you're authenticity is inspiring. to name your "masks" one by one and tackle them is awesome!

good for you Melissa!

cathi said...

after a comment like you left on tam's blog, how could I not come over here only to see your bona fide genuine heart shining through in numbers 2 and 3...did you know we share the same masks? I wonder if they fit me the same way b/c they most definitely show the same traits!

Lori K said...

You are so very honest and true - it's quite difficult, I know, to reveal these masks. Just know, I'm right there with ya. I think I got mine from the same place you got yours!

Holly Black said...

It's o.k. to throw that church volunteer mask in the trash! I did so a while back and it has been so freeing. I LOVE working with the children in our church and am passionate about women's ministry. I can even say that when I am serving in these areas, I tend to shine (not to brag!). God has gifted me in these areas and these are the ministries that I am passionate about. For 2 years I served on the food team and did it out of "servant obligation". I was a stay at home mom and felt that I was obligated to serve in this capacity. I really didn't enjoy having to figure out everyones food aversions and allergies, coordinate schedules and drive sometimes 25 miles to deliver the meal. When I quit this ministry, it freed me up to serve in the areas where I was gifted and actually enjoyed! Just remember that green bean story I told you at lunch. We should not be made to feel guilty for serving in areas that bring us joy and allow us to shine! When you start feeling that church ministry guilt, ask God where you can serve with joy! To all those people on the food ministry... thank God for your gift as we truly were blessed by all those meals during the birth of our son!

Melissa said...

I'm certain we could be real life friends. You're causing me to look at myself with a critcal eye and really "look" at what masks I'm hiding behind.