Sunday, October 18, 2009

Stacking Bricks

My past and future experiences in Zimbabwe are officially racing through my blood and beating with extra power in all 4 chambers of my heart. I'm obsessed. Cannot get Zim out of my mind.

The experiences from last year flood my memory like a wave. There are specific children I cannot wait to see. They will not understand when they see me and I am sobbing because I miss them and love them. Especially the ones who do not even speak English. They will most likely remember all of my hugs and kisses, because that is what I am famous for. There is one little boy I can smell. I can smell him right now. His dirty hair and skin. His unclean sweater. I can smell him right this minute and could cry a river. When I held Shawn this morning in my garden chair, I could literally sense that in a 3 weeks, with the same love, I'll hold others. It is bizarre to say the least. But it is a love God gave me. That is all I know. And I'm thankful for it. Love in abundance.

My future experiences are meeting me in my sleepy dreams. I have no idea what special things will occur on this trip. I cannot predict, but my mind is working overtime in the expectation that I will come home more filled than I could imagine. I keep remembering the letter that I received via email, from Sarah in Zimbabwe who told me "I remember everything you told me about God". What if our conversation really made a difference in our life? What if God really worked through me to reach her? My heart could pound right out of my chest this very moment. I want more of THAT! Oh God....please.

I am continuing to raise more and more, almost having raised enough funds to sponsor every teenager in the Rose of Sharon Orphange Home, to go to a Christian camp in December. If you want to sponsor a child to go to this camp, the cost is $80. Please contact me and I'll let you know how. It is going to be an amazing, life changing, faith increasing experience for every child. I just wish I could go to camp with them in December to witness the immeasurable increase in their hope and faith. This is what they need at this time in their they are about to be too old to stay in the orphanage home. When a teen leaves their only home and venture out onto the streets of Zimbabwe...there is little hope.

So, for now....I dedicate as much snuggle time with Asher and Shawn as I can before I leave. Last year, God curbed the intensity of my withdrawals from them. He will again. But I still feel bricks stacking up in my heart and the dreaded anticipation of those tearful goodbye kisses.

Zim babies....I'm coming soon.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

You make me wish I could come with you. Maybe another time. Please let me know how to send the money for the camp. You can message me through Facebook.