Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Christmas Moments

Some very important people in my life did not receive Christmas gifts from me this year because we just could not afford it. We also did not do the charitable giving this Christmas that we like to do. In fact...I only purchased a few very small, inexpensive gifts for my two youngest boys. That's it. Nothing else. And I love giving so much, so this has been utterly painful for me. The boys, however, haven't even noticed....which is a wonderful blessing to me. They were full of "WOW's" and every exciting reaction you hope for as a parent, when trying to fulfill even the tiniest requests.

To add to the the funk that is upon me this Christmas is the fact that I am knee deep in some relational struggles that just weigh me down and wear me out. It is not a pleasant place to be, and yet, it is my location, my season, my struggle, my suffering. It just is. This grown up stuff is really hard.

But I have moments to cherish from this season. Asher, for one, has been on an art project frenzy....filled with paints, glitter and glue. We have done several projects together. They are simple but they have been fun. He LOVES to make things for people and so we have been focused and earnest in our efforts. That boy is remarkable, in my honest opinion. I have so enjoyed these projects with Asher. He's 5 now, you know. Such a big boy.

Planning and preparing a Christmas Eve feast with my mom has been good. The food was wonderful. But the best part about our dinner was the blessing. Asher quickly volunteered to say the blessing. His readiness, his lack of intimidation....just his sheer eagerness to give thanks to God really overwhelms me. Sure, as a mommy I have instilled some or a lot of this in him, but it is so clear to me that it goes deeper into him than anything I could have accomplished on my own. Jesus has met with Asher in his heart....and I'm so thankful that Asher wants Jesus to stay there. Dwell. It's too much for words. Asher thanked God for the wonderful day and for the wonderful food. And he thanked God for helping Mommy and Nana cook the food. There was more. It isn't a rehearsed prayer. It's a moment between Asher and the Jesus that he is learning about, and the rest of us are just the witnesses to the sweetness that becomes him. Thank you, Jesus.

Shawn loves bows, tissue gift paper and ribbons. The child could be on Broadway with the way he dances with gift decor. It is graceful and precious, and yes, comical. It is joy. Joy that lights up on his face like a Christmas tree. Jolly. Shawn has the gift of jolly.

Shawnie can say "Tanta" and "ho ho". Just 2 ho's, not 3. Sorry....I had to go there. Poor Tiger Woods....I automatically just thought of him...did you?

Spencer has been home a lot. Every day, actually. I recently asked him if he has moved back in, you know, because I am just a bit curious. His response was, "yea". Well, okay then. Now I know. And it is good. Having him close makes me smile. It also heightens the necessity and the urgency to clean bathrooms, sanitize things, and scavenge the house for lost dishes...but hey, he's my boy. I'm not ready to strangle him just yet. Not quite.

I collect copper. My MIL gave me about 5 awesome pieces of copper which she has been collecting this year from yard sales and estate sales. I kinda struck the mother load. She is good to me that way. I love my new "old" copper pieces.

No comments: