From about day 15 of his precious purposed life, I began the dream that Shawn would be included in a typical school, with typical peers, and only carried off with the specialists for one-on-one teaching when absolutely necessary. Afterall, Shawn was born a brother. An Asher Tater Tot already existed and he would surely lead his little brother, comfort his little brother, guide his little brother, and fiercely protect his little brother. They should go to school together.
My prayer was and is that Shawn would be enough of a challenge to help mold and shape his schoolmates to love and value on a deeper level, but not so much of a challenge that his school would appoint him to the **retarded wing and that the typical children would only see him drooling his food in the cafeteria, in the corner, waving to everyone as they pass by sneering at him.
It's pride. I know. And I'll repent for that as soon as I finish this blog post.
I was advised and even warned they may never go to school together. It might not be possible or it might not be in the best interest of Shawn.
A few weeks ago, without awakening my dream, without my nudging and without my orchestrating....Shawn was given a spot in the pre-k at Asher's school. Yes, a meeting had to occur and paperwork had to be signed......but the nudge came from someone other than me. The dream was on the back shelf getting dusty. And the orchestra was being conducted by a heavenly host of the Lord's angels. Only the Lord knows if and when this symphony will change its song. For now I'm sitting in the balcony listening to the very personal notes.
(**i hate this word. i used it for emphasis in expressing the ache a mother feels to know that her son will be viewed and potentially treated with ugliness)