Saturday, November 7, 2009

I Am No Abraham

So, when God called out to Abram (Abraham) to tell him that he needed to leave his home and go to a land that God would reveal to him, oh.....whenver.... Abraham said "Here I Am". And moreso, Abraham obeyed. He continued to obey when God tested him regarding the sacrifice of Abrahams only son. Thankfully, Abrahams faith and obedience determined that the sacrifice wouldn't be necessary. When God called out to Abraham, he replied "Here I Am". Faith and obedience.

Faith and obedience.

Faith and obedience.

Faith, obedience, and a lot of nerve.

I am no Abraham. Afterall, God did not call me to just go to the airport and wait until He reveals which plane I am to board. And while my journey will take a long 2 days, it will not take 40 years as it did for Abraham. And God hasn't called me to sacrifice my children on an altar, but He has asked me to break away from them to fill up the lives of other children. And He has asked me to offer my children back to Him for service to Him.

This is one of my "Here I Am" moments. I'll be honest, there is nothing in my world more thrilling and rewarding than to be obedient when Jesus calls. I wish it were a daily strength of mine. It is not. I don't always know where God is leading me. Sometimes I feel very confused and at a crossroads, not knowing which way to go. Other times, I dread going. Following Jesus isn't a simple journey. It isn't all happiness and riches. It isn't safe. It isn't free of illness. It isn't void of devastation, trauma, hurt, loss, and tragedy. It is challenging, radical and unknown. It is the adventure of a lifetime. And I believe in the final destination as much as I believe I am sitting in a chair and typing on a laptop, right now.

I am no Abraham. I am not the father of many nations. I am Melissa. Raised in a broken home, an only child, estranged from some. I spent years and years making horrible decision after horrible decision. I've abused myself in many ways. I have sinned repeatedly. The day I threw in the towel and gave my heart to Christ was the first day of my new life. It was the best day of my life. He managed to spiff me up a little bit, clean out some of the funk, rid me of the disease of myself, and pave me a new road. It's a bumpy road and it has some steep climbs. But I know where it is ultimately going. I'm on the road to my land of milk and honey, and for me, it goes through Africa.

I love you Jesus.

I'll blog more as soon as I can.


Pete Ahlstrom said...

Melissa, God bless you. May he go with you, before you, after you.

Sarah said...

This was a beautiful post. I just love hearing bits of your testimony, Melissa. It gives me hope for a young girl that I love who is making horrible decision after horrible decision.

What I like best about this post is: "I am Melissa." Beautiful, strong, passionate Melissa.