The Same....But Different

Now that Shawn is 17 days post-op and he has officially had a great follow-up visit with the Cardiologist, earlier today.... I can finally say it.... I'm so thankful my sweet baby did not die. I'm so thankful he did not die in my womb, at birth, or during surgery. His genetic disorder could have led to a miscarriage, as many do. His heart defect could have been more severe. And let's face it, surgery can go wrong. Was I thinking it? Yes. Was I fearful? Yes. Somehow, I managed to trust in God, anyway. Somehow, I managed to hide my very deepest fear from everyone else. But I am human. I am a mommy with great passion for my children. I have suffered traumatic loss before. I am aware that no one is immune from loss.

Did I mention before, during surgery, the surgeon took Shawn's heart out of his body to repair it? She did. Maybe that doesn't come as a shock to you... but I did not know until just a couple of days before his surgery, that this would be the case. I knew they would go through his chest bone, but....oh my. His body was connected to the heart-lung bypass machine. A skilled, God-gifted surgeon took out his heart to repair it. His heart is no larger than his tiny hand. She put it back in. And it works. The cardiologist is VERY pleased. Shawn's heart no longer has a murmur. His EKG looked great and his heart rhythm is excellent. Now, they just have to monitor it for a while to make sure that his heart chambers are decreasing in size...because they had become very enlarged.

From my mommy perspective....Shawn is a new person. His energy level has doubled, and his appetite has tripled. He is a very hungry boy. His vocals are louder and stronger. His laugh is from his gut now.....not his throat. He could win a giggling contest, if there were such a thing. And his "fun scream" is perfected. He is as sweet as ever, with 10 doses of WILD! In fact, sometimes he gets hungry in the middle of the night. It is a blessed problem to have..... I can sleep when I'm dead.... which hopefully won't be anytime soon.