ZimAgain

I cannot decide whether to dance around my house or fall on my knees. It looks like I'm going back to Zimbabwe in November.

If you have a desire to and are able to contribute to my fundraising...please contact me.

But for now, I'm dancing and praying.

I cannot wait to see these children again, and the precious teenage girls who rocked my world.

Zim, baby!

The World is Rockin

Today, a blog that I follow very closely is shedding some sadness over a young baby's severe heart defect. Baby Stellan is not doing well today and my heart is heavy. www.mycharmingkids.net

I have several...way too many friends, going through divorce. There is pain in the air.

One of my dear friends is trying to love on her family with all of her might, and they just keep stabbing her (metaphorically, of course). An actual flesh wound, might hurt less.

I keep studying and studying the scriptures, and just as is true of the way and word of Jesus....He encourages us to persevere through all of these trials. And to love people.

I had an online chat with my sweet friend, Sue, in Zimbabwe about me going to serve again, either in October or November. I am on pins and needles. I need to raise so much more money, but I have received a little more than 1/3 in pledges so far and am just blown over with gratitude for the loving and generous "senders" in my life.

This is Asher's last week at his precious school. This makes my heart want to crack in half. He seems to be taking it pretty well........ while I am tormented. We just do not have the budget to keep him there. We're hoping he'll get to go into public pre-school.....but we are STILL waiting to find out. If not.... Asher will be having special adventures with me until he starts Kindergarten next August, 2010.

In other news....Asher got to meet some "real life" football players last week at his school. They came from one of the local private highschools. He has been in football heaven ever since then. He is only willing to wear his football socks, and one of his 3 football themed shirts. It's a bit dramatic, over-the-top obnoxious and annoying.... but it is still very cute. I see his precious face as he is looking through his closet to find something that would make one of the "real life" football players proud. His face crumples a little when he realizes that he does not have a football heavy wardrobe. I sense that he is already feeling the pressure of impressing others.....and for a 4 1/2 year old to be feeling this way....and acting it out.....is devastating. We're not keeping up with the Joneses, and I was hoping he wouldn't notice. Love just has to overcome. We just have to be rich in love.

Shawn's words are increasing. He can say "cow". And finally.....finally praise be to God, Shawn can say "momma". He can say "cheese".....well, sorta.....it sounds like "tease". His classroom is called "busy bees" and Shawn can say "bees". He can say "hi da" which means, "hi daddy". He can say "nigh nigh" for night night. It is all so beautiful and remarkable.

And speaking of words....here's a word that is resting in me this morning:

Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I am praying this not only for myself, but mostly for all of you...whoever you all are.....that the peace of God will literally consume your hearts and your minds, and that you will be content regardless of the circumstances you face. I am praising God today for peace. Not the idea of peace, but real peace.

Awesome Stank!

Today, I found a naked boy in my garden chair, and made some chocolate cookies. On a totally out-of-character, spontaneous whim, I took the boys to a place outside of Nashville, called Old Hickory, where there is a lake and a "beach" if you can call it that.

I was not prepared for this one to be a dare-devil. He refused to let me hold his hand. I had a few moments of cardiac arrest, and then I abandoned my fears and just let him live a little. It was hysterical. And dirty and stanky....but sooooooooooooooooooo MUCH F.U.N.!!!!!!

At one point I thought Shawn might be tired....after all he had run and jumped into the lake about 60 time....and no I am not exaggerating. I took the boys back to our perch and removed Shawn's swim trunks. I kid you not...,.he took off naked, running to the lake. I caught him, and then just surrendered and put on these little pull ups. M.o.r.e. F.U.N.

I am not sure how much lake water Shawn consumed while Asher was conservatively crusing the beach and sinking his toes into the sand. And it remains to be seen if Shawn's stomach will need to be pumped at the hospital later....and yes, I'm a little worried about his diapers later.... but mostly, it was a blessed SPLASH. Except for when I looked up and saw Asher doing....this...

What you don't see are several sweet, innocent families in the near vicinity watching him and wondering where his mother was. I had to really zoom in to get this picture because I was in the water preventing Shawn from swimming to Kentucky.

Ahhhhh......mommyhood.....what a freakin blast!

Rant

My thighs offend me. Seriously, couldn't they just BACK OFF? I mean c'mon, I decided to have children in my mid 30's. I was able to work out, and er......hire a personal trainer after Asher was born and snap my body back into shape....Good shape. But after Shawn was born things were just different. I don't know about other people, but after learning on his first full day of life that he had Down syndrome and a possible heart defect....I mean, I just wasn't in the mood to make my body a priority. I was kinda busy........ being metaphorically swung around by my toes and getting my head slammed into everything within a 5 foot radius.

And really, how does a mommy cope with the new normal and face a heightened reality of unknowns without indulging in some rich breads and home-baked sweets, anyway? Sure, there was a brief stint with Zoloft which did ultimately help me fight my desires to do dangerous stunts without a stunt-double, or a harness. But what about my thighs? My poor thighs have really been neglected in all of this.

Oh, if only I could get back into a routine of doing walking-lunges, weight-training and cardio.

I'm trying to get my mind into that place. My thighs are already there....and my mind is a little behind. And speaking of "little behinds"...... yea, that would be nice too.

In Color

Today me and the tots, we had an adventure. The highlights might have included a leaky boy poo accident, but no worries, I didn't take pictures of that. And yea, I know it's gross.......but I am here to share the truth.

The weather here in Nashville has been amazingly comfortable over the past few days. I heard it was a Canadian air mass that moved in.... and let's just say, I'm loving me some Canadian air right about now. The boys are thankful too cuz it's difficult to get momma to go outside in the heat.

Love to all!

Out & About

Last night we went out to continue the celebration of Daddy's birthday which was on 7/12. We went to the Cheekwood Botanical Gardens family night, with kids entertainment. Shawn enjoyed the music, while Asher mostly enjoyed the exploration of the gardens, ponds, and meeting some new friends...or enemies?

Shawn got close to the entertainer, Conductor Jack. The ground was sloped and he had a little trouble keeping his balance, so this excursion quickly turned into him sitting firmly in my lap.

Here is proof that daddy was there, and that Asher sweats like his momma....

All that sweat deserves a little ice cream. We went to Baskin Robbins where I failed to bring in my camera (dangit!)... but Shawn sat on top of a table, and ate a scoop of chocolate ice cream in a cone, all by himself. I didn't catch him in action, but I did capture the aftermath....after he wiped off his own face...

His shirt says "Born To Be Cute" and I give a roaring loud AMEN to that!

Change

Yesterday we took the crib apart and moved it out. Asher and Shawn have been sharing a small bedroom for a long time. Asher sleeps in a twin bed and Shawn in the crib. When I was pregnant with Shawn, we bought the kids matching twin beds. They were on sale at Pottery Barn and I knew I wanted them to share a room, so to avoid the "no longer in production" headache, we went ahead and bought 2. We have been using one of them in our bonus room as a little guest bed/daybed deal. No more. We have moved both beds around in the bedroom and now have more space in the bonus room for toy action. Shanw took a successful nap yesterday afternoon, and also had a great nights sleep last night. Above is a picture of his first nap in the bed. (The matching quilt cover is STILL in the washing machine!)

Shawn likes to chill when he wakes up. He will easily relax, awake, for 15 minutes before he decides he wants to get out of bed. I like that he likes to chill. I slept on the sofa last night so that I would be able to hear if Shawn got up in the middle of the night and decided to cruise the pad. Without bars holding him in, who knows what he might do. Luckily, he did nothing but sleep. He woke up this morning and I heard he and Asher giggle a little. Then a few minutes later, I hear a loud "HI" coming from the top of the stairs. I ran to the stairs and yelled "HI" right back. My sweetie pie was just hanging out, looking around, feeling big. (Shawn can maneuver the stairs very well, but I didn't want him to try it in a state of sleepiness).

I went upstairs to get him and change his diaper. I walked into the bedroom and saw Asher just laying there (his bed is in a new position) with a huge grin on his face. He was just "happy". I think he really enjoyed being snuggled by Shawn in an unexpected early morning visit.

Change is big. It can be. We fear change because of the unknowns. We fear change because it is letting go of the "old way". We fear change. Change is intimidating. And, change can be hard work.

But change can also be freeing, instead of letting go of the old, it is embracing the new. Instead of becoming complacent, change is refreshing and energizing.

Is there anything you need to change?